SOMETHING 4 U MAMA(Dedicated to my mothers, Judy, Joyce, Mary, Zelda & Farrie Bell)

       I REALIZED WHEN I LISTEN TO “A SONG FOR MAMA” I GET TEARY EYED CAUSE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BEEN 20 YEARS SINCE WE LAST SAW EACH OTHER I STILL KNOW WE HAVE A CONNECTION LIKE MY MANNERISM, MY ATTITUDE AND HOW YOU FELT I SHOULD BE IN LIFE: A TRUE MAN. I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH HATIN YOU FOR LEAVING ME ALONE WHEN I KNEW YOU WAS TRYIN TO TEACH ME ON HOW TO BE A MAN AND WE KNOW WHEN YOU BECOME A TEENAGER THINGS ARE SO CLOUDY AND YOU ONLY THINK OF YOURSELF AND WHAT’S NOT IMPORTANT IN LIFE.
        A MOTHER IS A GEM, A PEARL THAT ONLY SHOWS YOU THE LOVE THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS NOT EVEN YOUR COMPANIONS OR SPOUSES EVEN UNDERSTAND BUT YOU HAVE TO LIVE LIFE AND BECOME A PARENT. SOMETIMES IT SO HARD TO CONVINCE THE PERSON YOU LOVE THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ME LIKE MY MOTHER. MY MOTHER IS A STRONG MINDED WOMAN WHO I FELT WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO I CLASSIFIED AS THE TERM, “DIVA” AND SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME LOVE WOMEN FOR WHO THEY ARE TODAY. I’VE BECOME SO DEPRESSED AND FRUSTRATED THAT NOBODY CAN SETTLE YOUR WOUNDS LIKE MOTHERS OR GRANDMOTHERS THEY ARE THE QUEENS OF OUR HEARTS AND FOR A CHILD TO DISRESPECT THAT IS A CRYING SHAME.
         TODAY I SIT DOWN AND PRAY THAT GOD GIVES ME THE STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE TO LET MY MOTHER FORGIVE ME FOR THE WAY I WAS BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND LIFE UNTIL I GOT OUT THERE AND FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT.TODAY MY MOTHER IS A MINISTER SO I FEEL LIKE IT’S MY MISSION TO RECONCILE WITH HER AND JUST GROW UP. I HATE WHEN KIDS TAKE THEIR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED WHEN THEY DON’T REALIZE YOU HAVE ONLY ONE MOTHER IN THIS LIFE. I WAS TOLD THERE WAS TWO TYPES OF WOMEN TO BE MOMS, FIRST MOTHER IS THE BIRTH MOM WHO CARRIED AND NURTURED YOU IN HER BELLY FOR 9 MONTHS AND GAVE YOU LIFE AND THE MOMMY ARE THE MOMS WHO TEACHES YOU TO WALK , TALK AND GIVES YOU INFLUENCE ON BECOMING A PERSON AND TAKE THEIR LIFE’s LESSONS IN LIFE TO CARRY ON TO OUR CHILDREN. WHAT IF A MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT US THE SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAZY LIFE?
         NOBODY CAN SAY WHO YOU REALLY ARE BUT YOU’RE MOTHER AND WHO CAN CHANGE IT. DON’T FORGET THE BIBLE SAYS HONOR HER OR YOUR DAYS GONNA LONG SO THINK ABOUT EVERY TIME YOU DISRESPECT OR HURT HER WHERE WILL YOU BE IN THE FUTURE? I’M SO BLESSED TO SAY THAT I HOPE SHE CAN FORGIVE ME AND JUST MOVE ON AND BE A FAMILY AGAIN CAUSE TRULY I WISH SHE COULD SOOTHE AND CALM MY INNER SOUL AND LIKE THE SONG SAYS YOU ARE THE FOOD TO MY SOUL. Dedicated to the women who put the strength and knowledge that became Lelund Hollins, I love ya’ll with all my heart and soul and I wish the ones who are gone were here so when things become so gray they can turn it into sunshine. I miss you ladies terribly and you’re never forgotten.