Originally written in 2011.....Revised March 29, 2012
I REMEMBER AS A CHILD NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD AND THAT WAS WHEN THE WORLD WAS INNOCENT. HOW MANY CAN REMINISCE OF THE TIMES OF RESPECTING YOUR ELDERS AND FEELING GOOD THAT LOVE WAS NOT SO SERIOUS. I REMEMBER MY GRANDMOTHER DISCIPLINING AND THEN EXPLAINING WHAT I DID AND SHE STILL LOVED ME. I REMEMBER IN THE PROJECTS OF DIGGS PARK IN NORFOLK, VA WAS WHERE THE SANITY OF SLIMM BIGGUMZ WAS BORN DUE TO THE FACTS OF PEER PRESSURE AND CRUELTY OF THE KIDS OF THAT TIME BUT WE ALL WERE NOT HATERS YET JUST KIDS. I REMEMBER WHEN CHURCHES WAS SO SACRED WITH LOOKS AND THE IMAGE OF THE CONGREGATION. SO WHAT HAS HAPPEN IN THE LAST 30 YEARS??? THE MUSIC AT THAT TIME FOR ME WAS ENJOYING REV. JAMES CLEVELAND, MAHALIA JACKSON, CLARA WARD, DIXIE HUMMINGBIRDS AND THE LISTS OF THAT TIME WAS ENDLESS. I LOVED TO SEE PEOPLE GET A HOLY GHOST AND FEELING THE SPIRIT CAUSE IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE FOR ME.
THE STREETS BEFORE THE DRUG EPIDEMIC WAS A PLACE WHERE THE REAL SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS FOR ME AND I HAD TO FIGHT MY WAY TO SHOW AND PROVE I BELONG EVEN THOUGH I WAS CHURCH KID. THERE WERE MANY MOMENTS I WANTED TO HURT THEM BUT I WAS TAUGHT TO FORGIVE AND LOVE THEM CAUSE THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO. I REMEMBER FIGHTING ONE DAY AND THEN FRIENDS THE NEXT, SO WHAT HAPPEN TO THAT MENTALITY?? CHURCH WAS A PLACE TO FEEL SAFE FROM THE ILLS OF THE WORLD’S MADNESS. NOW CHURCH IS FASHION SHOW OF LOOKS INSTEAD OF THE WORD. I DO NOT REMEMBER LADIES SHOWING OFF THEIR CLEAVAGE AND DOIN ANYTHING THAT WAS SUSPICIOUS TO THE CONGRGATION. YES THAT LIFE WAS DESTROYED BY A SICK PERSON WHO ROBBED ME OF MY INNOCENCE OF BEIN A KID BUT I STILL ASKED GOD TO FORGIVE THEM EVEN THOUGH TO THIS DAY IT’S SO UNCOMFOTABLE TO SIT IN A CHURCH. SO I CHOSE MUSIC CAUSE IT NEVER HURT ME PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY OR SEXUALLY.
TODAY THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES IS IN THE LAST DAYS AND TIMES CAUSE WHAT HAPPEN TO OUR VALUES AND MORALS FOR EACH OTHER. BACK IN THE DAY IT WAS TABOO TO HAVE A GIRL PREGNANT IT WAS LIKE A HUGE ISSUE AMONG THE OLDER PEOPLE. IT WAS EVEN TABOO TO DISCUSS ISSUES LIKE SEX, DRUGS AND SACRED MUSIC. TODAY SOCIETY CONDONES THE ISSUES THAT HAVE DESTROYED MANY LIVES ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY. THE YOUTH TODAY DON’T HAVE NO CLUE TO HOW BACK THEN PEACE WAS A THING TO HAVE ESPECIALLY WITH GOD IN OUR HOUSEHOLDS BUT NOW OUR KIDS DISRESPECT US AS IF THEY NEVER HAD ANY HOME TRAINING. WHERE ARE THE ROLE MODELS THAT KEPT US GROUNDED FROM THE STREETS TO THE CHURCH. THE TELEVSION OF THAT TIME DID MORE TEACHING THAN EXPLOITING THE NEGATIVES OF THE WORLD WHICH WAS FORBIDDEN BACK IN THE DAY.
I NEARLY BROKE DOWN IN TEARS WHEN SOME ARTISTS CALL ME A PHONY OR FRAUD TO AN INDUSTRY THAT’S MORE LIKE THE DAYS OF SODOM AND GORMARRAH. THERE HAVE BEEN BIG NAMES WHO PROMISE YO UTHIS DREAM WHICH IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN SINCE YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP SOMETHING TO GET SOMEWHERE. I’M A PERSON WHO CAME FROM THE HARD STREETS TO WHERE I’M STILL STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN MY SANITY IN A MASQUERADE OF CHARACTERS(ex. haters, scoundrels, wolves, snakes, sconions, backstabbers, etc…..) SO WHAT HAPPEN TO TRUE TALENTS WITH NO STINGS ATTACH WHICH HAS NEVER EXISTED EVER FROM MANY STORIES IN THIS INDUSTRY. AS A CHILD 30 YEARS AGO I WANTED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD FOR MY TALENTS BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE IN A FEW WEEKS I WILL BE RELOCATING TO LOS ANGELES TO FULFILL MY DESTINY AND TRY TO HELP GUIDE MANY DESERVING ARTISTS TO THEIR DESTINY.
THERE’S BEEN SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONED ME ABOUT HOW I HAVE OVER 5,000 FRIENDS FROM MY PAGES AND IT QUITE SIMPLY; I WAS AN ADVENTUROUS PERSON FROM THE DAY ONE TIL NOW. I’VE TRAVELED MANY ROADS AND MET MANY INTERESTING PEOPLE WHO’VE EITHER BEEN MY FRIENDS, ASSOCIATES, COWORKERS, ENEMIES AND FRIENEMIES FROM ALL ASPECTS OF MY JOURNEY. I THANK GOD THAT I’M STILL HERE TO SAY THAT PROUDLY IN A SENSE OF THE WORLD’S JEALOUSY. SO NOW I FEEL GUILTY TO HAVE THIS LIFE WHICH I CAN SAY GOD HAS BLESSED ME TO OVERCOME MANY OBSTACLES TO ACHIEVE THE DREAM OF A LIFETIME. I GAVE MY WORD TO GOD THAT I HELP THOSE WHO REALLY NEED THEIR DESTINY FULFILLED BUT I KNOW THERE WILL BE MORE DANGER AWAITS ME IN THE SHADOW OF DEATH BUT I KNOW HE WILL PROTECT ME THROUGH IT. AS OF THIS WRITING I’VE BEEN CALLED SHADY, FRAUDALENT, PHONY FROM INDIVIDUALS EVEN THREATS FROM THE MOST UNUSUAL PEOPLE SUCH AS THE NATION OF ISLAM WHICH I NEVER DESERVED BUT ITS COOL.
AS I END THIS PIECE I HOPE THIS WRITING CAN HELP OPEN EYES TO PEOPLE OF A REAL MAN NOT A SHIESTY MAN WHO’S OUT FOR GREED AND ALL FOR SELF CAUSE PERSONALLY I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE AND WHO NEEDS THE FAKE SUBSTANCE OF THE WORLD. LORD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE TO FULFILL MY DESTINY AND HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES…….amen
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